It's interesting to hear your perspective on this. I guess as a native here, from a Midwestern small town, it doesn't seem quite so amazingly open and friendly to me. Maybe that's just because I don't know anything else, either.
But I also think there's a bit of a thing where, if someone can tell you're a foreigner, folks here are a little more interested in you and a little more likely to open themselves a bit, because they know you must be far from family and roots.
Whereas if you're from here, it's not that we won't interact, but we expect folks to make it worth our time.
I can tell you that as someone from lower middle class (like, really actually — I know everyone here thinks they are lower middle class, but... yeah, actually. For real), middle of nowhere America,I often feel like a fish out of water in fancy places. I lived in NYC for 11 years. Never really cracked the code there, and often felt it was because I read as too country for the upper crust coasties.
This post makes a pretty compelling case that social mobility here isn't that great, which may also explain why I felt a lot like a foreigner at different times in my own country, even tho I am from the so-called "heartland" and should be seen as max American
This an AMAZING essay. As a Californian based in Western Europe for multiple years, it helps me understand the ways in which Europeans find my personality both deeply repulsive and highly attractive. And the "social violence" / "random rejection" lens of understanding European friendship is absolutely real.
As an Indian married to a Jew, much of what you say feels like dinner table conversation. One twist to your tale - I might double down on a ‘center-surround’ mechanism that was made famous in studies of retinal cells - strong family ties at the core surrounded by many weak ties that radiate out, and that can lead to creative combinations when two center-surround configurations mix, either through marriage or cofounding an organization.
Not sure what multicultural means here. We have a lot of genetic diversity (the most diverse country in the world according to a study), that's for sure. But we have had low levels of migration for a while now, specially in comparison to US or England.
No way Americans smile more in public than Brazilians. It's not even close. I'd also guess not more than many African countries and other Latin American countries.
Isn't Brazil effectively a pretty multicultural place as well? Seems like it kinda fits the description. but I don't really know. I might have that wrong.
The idea is that people smile more in places where there's more diversity. Like, everyone is taciturn in Finland, because they all have basically the exact same background and life experiences. They all get each other. No need to reassure.
It's interesting to hear your perspective on this. I guess as a native here, from a Midwestern small town, it doesn't seem quite so amazingly open and friendly to me. Maybe that's just because I don't know anything else, either.
But I also think there's a bit of a thing where, if someone can tell you're a foreigner, folks here are a little more interested in you and a little more likely to open themselves a bit, because they know you must be far from family and roots.
Whereas if you're from here, it's not that we won't interact, but we expect folks to make it worth our time.
I can tell you that as someone from lower middle class (like, really actually — I know everyone here thinks they are lower middle class, but... yeah, actually. For real), middle of nowhere America,I often feel like a fish out of water in fancy places. I lived in NYC for 11 years. Never really cracked the code there, and often felt it was because I read as too country for the upper crust coasties.
This post makes a pretty compelling case that social mobility here isn't that great, which may also explain why I felt a lot like a foreigner at different times in my own country, even tho I am from the so-called "heartland" and should be seen as max American
https://performativebafflement.substack.com/p/america-has-already-differentiated
This an AMAZING essay. As a Californian based in Western Europe for multiple years, it helps me understand the ways in which Europeans find my personality both deeply repulsive and highly attractive. And the "social violence" / "random rejection" lens of understanding European friendship is absolutely real.
Thanks, super interesting!
It is interesting to read this as an American who is not extroverted.
As an Indian married to a Jew, much of what you say feels like dinner table conversation. One twist to your tale - I might double down on a ‘center-surround’ mechanism that was made famous in studies of retinal cells - strong family ties at the core surrounded by many weak ties that radiate out, and that can lead to creative combinations when two center-surround configurations mix, either through marriage or cofounding an organization.
Absolutely! Organisms at all scale seem to perform best that way 🙏🏻
Would love to hear more about those dinner conversations!
Not sure what multicultural means here. We have a lot of genetic diversity (the most diverse country in the world according to a study), that's for sure. But we have had low levels of migration for a while now, specially in comparison to US or England.
I wish I could do this spa every weekend
Love that you GET IT
No way Americans smile more in public than Brazilians. It's not even close. I'd also guess not more than many African countries and other Latin American countries.
Isn't Brazil effectively a pretty multicultural place as well? Seems like it kinda fits the description. but I don't really know. I might have that wrong.
The idea is that people smile more in places where there's more diversity. Like, everyone is taciturn in Finland, because they all have basically the exact same background and life experiences. They all get each other. No need to reassure.